Monday, October 16, 2017

On Feminism, Misandry, Gender Roles, and the infamous MRS degree, Among Other Things

Disclaimer: this is not meant to bash any opinion, but rather my take on both sides. I see merit within both, and so hopefully this is taken as an honest criticism of two demographics I am a part of.

Although I wholly identify as a feminist, I have always chosen for myself a more traditional path. I am lucky- my boyfriend doesn't bat an eye at this. He understands that everyone has a calling, and it might not always be a calling that brings money in droves. 

  My biggest issue has been finding a community. Many Christian women alienate single or childless women, especially those who feel called to serve our Lord outside the home. I believe that God has given us all unique gifts, and thus not everyone needs to be a parent. Egalitarian Christian women are the closest thing to a community for me, but it still is not a perfect fit. This is where feminism comes in. Although feminism is currently designed to be a concept that supports women's choices, many misandrists hide themselves under the guise of third-wave feminism. Not only is it unacceptable, but it's just plain wrong. Some women want to dedicate themselves to their family. There is nothing wrong with that. Not all women will be mothers and not all women will work in a conventional sense. We need to take a step back. God's got this, y'all. 

  With this lack of community comes the reminder that I don't fit within defined boxes. "Well, at least you know she's not getting her MRS degree." I never quite know how to respond anytime someone says this to my parents, because, sorry Momma, but that's kinda what I'm doing. I am going into a STEM field out of passion for science and exploration, but the caveat is, if I didn't have so many cheap/free options, I likely would not be going to college. I cannot justify going into debt for something that I'll only be reaping the benefits of for a couple of years. My future job is mostly going to be there for extra money so I can stay at home with my future kids and get a good job should something happen financially. (Also maintaining my job in a military family is a daunting task I don't believe I'll ever be prepared for.)

  My belief in equality shows up in my actions: supporting charities like the Malala Fund, petitioning members of Congress to pass better parental leave laws, and, most of all, supporting women's choices. (This is not a post meant to shame or belittle; it is only my experience within certain circles.)

I have always felt called to motherhood, but, surprisingly, it was only through God (and a much deeper exploration of feminism) that I became much more comfortable in my future role. It's not something that I feel is for everyone, but I feel it is right for me. I have prayed to God for clarity as well as discussed this with my boyfriend (who has already given me his word on marriage) and I now feel as if that is His plan. Do I know why He has chosen me, a feminist Christian, for this duty? No, but I do have ideas as to why He kept encouraging me to consider it. Do I know it will turn out for the greater good, despite how difficult it will be? Yes.

Which brings me to Awaken the Dawn and the Women's March. The Women's March had a good idea: a woman holds the power of the world in her hands, and when many come together, it creates something that cannot be ignored. Among other things, the Women's March stood for the rights of the women who have been belitted, raped, or abused and are forced to suffer while the person who took something invaluable from them gets off relatively free. Even with God's ever-loving grace, recovery is a long road, which is something I can personally attest to. Awaken the Dawn prayed for these evil men (although there are women who do these things as well, I'm not entirely sure anyone prayed for them) and their repentance. Both of these are good things. However, many women at Awaken the Dawn have felt as if the (now infamous) hats from the Women's March are contradictory. As a feminist, I do not think womanhood is inherently tied to your reproductive organs (example: those who are intersex but feel either more manly or womanly), but I also feel that, in trying to reclaim our personhood after abuse/rape/assault, we relate the two. Obviously I cannot speak for every woman on this issue, but there seems to be something off about it, which some women from Awaken the Dawn have pointed out in many an article (washington post, anyone?). The Women's March was a reaction built upon United States history, one repeated this month at Awaken the Dawn. Maybe they aren't so different after all. Ladies, the ball is, and has always been, in our court. May we never forget it.

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