Reflections on Mass

Here's a post I started writing back in February, but I'm glad I didn't finish it. I actually have more to add, especially about the Easter Vigil last weekend.

From February:

Last week, I went to my first traditional Latin Mass, and honestly, I can see why people love it. Although it's definitely a bit more difficult to follow along since it's mostly silent, it was a lot easier to focus on Jesus. I've also found that veiling really does help to keep me more focused on what's going on. My mind can't wander to what's going on around me for two reasons:

1. I can't really see what's beside me.
2. I have a physical reminder that I'm in the presence of God
I'm not here to say of veiling is right or wrong, but I am definitely saying that it helps me to focus. If anyone has advice for how to keep a veil on, I would appreciate it! Mine slipped so badly that my boyfriend had to help me put it back on 😂.

I did not go to Mass this week- I was exposed to the flu earlier and I was showing several signs of it last night. I slept off most of it, but I'm still not feeling well enough to be willing to expose really young or really old people to something that is making me, a fairly healthy person, absolutely miserable.
Ultimately, I've learned that I definitely prefer the more traditional way of doing Mass, even though I do not find TLM to be the one true way of Catholicism.

Updates from last weekend:

Earlier this semester, I attended a retreat where I had the chance to have first Confession and receive the Eucharist for the first time, but I decided instead to wait until I was back at my parish, partially because I was told "some priests will allow you to receive before the vigil, some won't" and partially because I wanted to be able to spend time for my first Confession. It still only took 20 minutes, but I had no idea what to expect, so I'm thankful I waited until I was back home.

At Palm Sunday Mass, I was able to receive my first Communion in the Catholic Church. I teared up, my deacon was tearing up, it was a good time. In all honesty, being able to receive Jesus, completely and fully, in the Eucharist for the first time was an experience like no other. 

Easter Vigil, however, was something completely new. I cried a little bit after being Confirmed, and definitely was trying not to cry when I hugged my priest at the reception after the Mass had ended. 

I'm so thankful for everything I've experienced this semester as I finished preparing to enter the Church.

 

Links I Love (06/11)

These are the 4 articles I've been loving this week.

1. Dear Future Husband, These are My Prayers for You...

These are the promises I make every day to my long term boyfriend. I want to be someone who is unafraid to admit that love takes work and effort

2. Womanly Wednesday a Guest Post on Being Too Smart to be a Stay-at-Home Mom
I think out of all the articles I've read, this is the one that hits the hardest. I've always consistently done well in school, but I don't feel strongly about "using my intelligence." I've always been told It's career first, but it's always been in my head that family is the most important thing.

3. Healthy Collegiate Grocery List
Although this does mostly apply to college students, I still think these tips apply to anyone who is looking to save money while still eating well, or is already strapped for cash but wants to eat better. The checklist at the end is not only visually appealing but also helpful.

4. Why It Matters That We're Marrying in a Church
This is one of those things that used to confuse me- why does it matter because God is everywhere? Spoken Bride is one of my favorite websites for religious help, and this article explained the why it's in a Church besides "Well, canon law says so."

On Feminism, Misandry, Gender Roles, and the infamous MRS degree, Among Other Things

Disclaimer: this is not meant to bash any opinion, but rather my take on both sides. I see merit within both, and so hopefully this is taken as an honest criticism of two demographics I am a part of.

Although I wholly identify as a feminist, I have always chosen for myself a more traditional path. I am lucky- my boyfriend doesn't bat an eye at this. He understands that everyone has a calling, and it might not always be a calling that brings money in droves. 

  My biggest issue has been finding a community. Many Christian women alienate single or childless women, especially those who feel called to serve our Lord outside the home. I believe that God has given us all unique gifts, and thus not everyone needs to be a parent. Egalitarian Christian women are the closest thing to a community for me, but it still is not a perfect fit. This is where feminism comes in. Although feminism is currently designed to be a concept that supports women's choices, many misandrists hide themselves under the guise of third-wave feminism. Not only is it unacceptable, but it's just plain wrong. Some women want to dedicate themselves to their family. There is nothing wrong with that. Not all women will be mothers and not all women will work in a conventional sense. We need to take a step back. God's got this, y'all. 

  With this lack of community comes the reminder that I don't fit within defined boxes. "Well, at least you know she's not getting her MRS degree." I never quite know how to respond anytime someone says this to my parents, because, sorry Momma, but that's kinda what I'm doing. I am going into a STEM field out of passion for science and exploration, but the caveat is, if I didn't have so many cheap/free options, I likely would not be going to college. I cannot justify going into debt for something that I'll only be reaping the benefits of for a couple of years. My future job is mostly going to be there for extra money so I can stay at home with my future kids and get a good job should something happen financially. (Also maintaining my job in a military family is a daunting task I don't believe I'll ever be prepared for.)

  My belief in equality shows up in my actions: supporting charities like the Malala Fund, petitioning members of Congress to pass better parental leave laws, and, most of all, supporting women's choices. (This is not a post meant to shame or belittle; it is only my experience within certain circles.)

I have always felt called to motherhood, but, surprisingly, it was only through God (and a much deeper exploration of feminism) that I became much more comfortable in my future role. It's not something that I feel is for everyone, but I feel it is right for me. I have prayed to God for clarity as well as discussed this with my boyfriend (who has already given me his word on marriage) and I now feel as if that is His plan. Do I know why He has chosen me, a feminist Christian, for this duty? No, but I do have ideas as to why He kept encouraging me to consider it. Do I know it will turn out for the greater good, despite how difficult it will be? Yes.

Which brings me to Awaken the Dawn and the Women's March. The Women's March had a good idea: a woman holds the power of the world in her hands, and when many come together, it creates something that cannot be ignored. Among other things, the Women's March stood for the rights of the women who have been belitted, raped, or abused and are forced to suffer while the person who took something invaluable from them gets off relatively free. Even with God's ever-loving grace, recovery is a long road, which is something I can personally attest to. Awaken the Dawn prayed for these evil men (although there are women who do these things as well, I'm not entirely sure anyone prayed for them) and their repentance. Both of these are good things. However, many women at Awaken the Dawn have felt as if the (now infamous) hats from the Women's March are contradictory. As a feminist, I do not think womanhood is inherently tied to your reproductive organs (example: those who are intersex but feel either more manly or womanly), but I also feel that, in trying to reclaim our personhood after abuse/rape/assault, we relate the two. Obviously I cannot speak for every woman on this issue, but there seems to be something off about it, which some women from Awaken the Dawn have pointed out in many an article (washington post, anyone?). The Women's March was a reaction built upon United States history, one repeated this month at Awaken the Dawn. Maybe they aren't so different after all. Ladies, the ball is, and has always been, in our court. May we never forget it.

Review: Jesus>Religion by Jefferson Bethke

My friend had this book and I saw it when she was cleaning out her locker. She let me borrow it and I finished it within three hours. 

I related to Bethke's sentiments about how the church does seem unwelcoming and has made its own culture-not that independent culture is a bad thing. However, when the focus becomes on earning salvation and on making the Bible about how God helped the heroes-who were already ideal-the message is lost. God took those heroes, flaws and all, and helped them to become better people. And I think that important distinction isn't always in place. I know I never learned that. For example, in Sunday School, the whale swallows Jonah because he is facing the wrath of God. According to the story, Jonah realized he was wrong and jumped in the water. God had the fish (not whale fyi) swallow him, most likely to get him to the Sin City of his day. God's love is not conditional. God loves you, no matter if you are a believer or not. 

Also, as the author blatantly states, alcohol is not a sin. The sin is being extremely drunk. (I haven't found anything going against marijuana either. If you find one, be sure to tell me.)

Basically this book expressed my feelings far more eloquently (and probably just all around better) than I ever could. 

Last week, the friend and I were talking about religion. I admitted to the fact that I'm not a big fan of organized religion, but I love Jesus. She informed me that, technically speaking, being a follower of Jesus does not necessarily make you religious, but neither does being religious always mean you are a follower of Christ.